Hey friends!
Let me first start out by telling you how I arrived in this place. I officially became a single mom a little over a year after my daughter was born. (I said officially because I had long ago checked out of the relationship.) That’s another story for another day. My daughter is turning 6 very soon, so it has been a long time since I’ve dated someone or even been on an actual date! Between dealing with the breakup, COVID, and everything else in between, I finally feel like I’m ready to get back out there!
I really feel like dating in my 20s was much different from dating in my 30s! In my 20s, I was down for whatever whenever! Like if there was somewhere to be, I was in the mix! And then I turned 30. 30 changed my perspective on everything. I became more intentional about who I allow to enter into my space. I’m more aware of the feelings and energies that I experience when being around certain people. Basically, if you give me bad vibes, I keep my guard up!
It’s Your Life, Live It For Yourself!
It’s hard, I get it. People are very judgmental for no reason at all! At the end of the day it is literally your life. I often find myself saying, “They talked about Jesus, who am I?” That is my motto because honey at the end of the day you are your own person. You and only you have to live with the decisions that you make. I’m mentally strong enough now to live my life with no regrets.
Decide Your End Goal
Think about what your goal(s) are for your dating life. Are you looking to have a good time or a long time? Are you willing to adjust your thinking based on the encounters that you are faced with? Are you dating for you or because you’re tired of people asking when are going to date again? 🙂 Think about what it is that you are wanting to accomplish from dating because it is your life!
To Meet or not to Meet
Dating with kids can be super tricky! Deciding if and when to introduce your child(ren) to your partner can be a challenge! When is too soon? What happens after the introduction? Will they even like each other?
These are all very important questions to think about before the introductions happen. I suggest that you re-visit your dating goal. If you’re there for a good time and not a long time, don’t waste your time introducing the person to your family. If you can see a long-term relationship, I think that as long as both you and your partner have discussed a future that the sooner the introductions happen, the better. Always speak to your child(ren) about the partner and the reason the introductions are happening prior to the initial introduction. You don’t want to surprise your child(ren) with a love interest. Their reaction will probably not me in the form of celebratory.
Final Reminders
This is your life, so move at your own pace! Although your friends/family may have good intentions, don’t be in a hurry to please them if that is not your heart’s desire! Take your time with introducing your child(ren) to new people. Forming new attachments can be challenging, but an abrupt separation is just as challenging.
See you soon- MQ
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